I Aten’t Dead

Now that I’ve got the literary quote out of the way, I apologize, this past month has been really busy for me. I had intentions of throwing up some posts, and I’ve got a list of posts I want to add, but there’s been a lot of… stuff going on. Not sure we want to label it exciting or whatever, so here goes:

1. NaNoWriMo: I didn’t make it, but I’ve more than tripled the progress I’ve made on Deathless. It’s really becoming a book I want to be known for. I got 40,000 words out of the 50,000 needed to win NaNoWriMo, but at this point, I’m pretty proud of what I did get on paper.

2. Diagnosis: I’ve had an addiction I’ve been struggling with for a long time, and recently started going back to therapy to help with it. This time around has been different. Because of the triggers for the addiction, plus a few other habits and means of expression, I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety. In my disbelief I found out from family that that particular umbrella diagnosis runs deeper in my family than I thought. So, we are combating anxiety with medicine, stress management, and a 3DS. There have been studies that suggest that non-violent puzzle games can help with depression and anxiety. Link and link. So, we’ve looked into that realm of therapy, including Brain Age and Professor Layton. I also happened to get Pokemon black, but that wasn’t for therapy purposes.

Since the diagnosis, I’ve found myself wondering about a lot of my behavior patterns. Do I do this thing because it’s what I learned, I see some function, or is it the result of a dysfunction? That’s where Megan came in with research and a lot of helpful knowledge. Many things were common symptoms of anxiety, and some were my brain trying to develop countermeasures against the feelings of anxiety. It’s lead to some self-discovery, and not the kind that involves sunsets, a Lifetime original movie, or a particular novel.

3. Thanksgiving. This was the first Thanksgiving that Megan and I didn’t spend with family. Being among the newest officers in a correctional environment, I figured I was the low rung on the ladder and most likely to get scheduled out of holiday breaks. So I scheduled my vacations before the holidays. Then it turns out that my normal days off were on the days of the holiday so I was going to get them off anyway. So, I did what I think is the right thing and volunteered to pick up shifts on those holidays so others could spend time with family since it’s just Megan and me at home. Sure enough, emails went flying around saying that people were needed for those days. It’s led to an interesting mental conversation about confused altruism and the smallish happy feeling knowing I’m getting overtime pay.

All of that has reduced me to early mornings by myself trying to reset and stay sane with Hulu and later my new 3DS and the games we bought for it. And writing. But, December is going to be comparatively calmer, so I should be able to get some ideas finished, some blogging and a video done, and wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.


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