I’m writing this to all the people who followed me to explain my absence on the blog for

the past few months. I wish I could say that I’ve got some really cool reason as to why I

haven’t been posting, but life got busy. Between work and not wanting to be at work, I’ve

just gotten lazy, and that’s not right, especially when I’ve been such a proponent of not

being lazy and going and doing those things that make us happy.

Inside Out.jpg

But, I’m on now because I’m stuck. On one side, I’ve got the whole reason I started my

blog: my writing. I haven’t really done anything with it since I started working full time.

I’m at a higher stress job than usual, so I haven’t been doing a lot. I’ve really only been

working on my writing when I’m too bored to do anything else.

It doesn’t happened very often, even though I do have spare time. Heck, I’m regularly

trolling Imgur and playing my 3DS, why can’t I just give that time to writing? I could

have all the books I’ve planned on writing already completed.

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I’ve got two novels out, Juniper Crescent and Hallow Terrace, but they’ve both been out

for a few years now and I have no clue how to market them. I thought I did when I first

started in the published world, but now it seems that no matter what I do, it’s fighting an

uphill battle with both hands tied behind my back. I felt so much satisfaction with my

writing. There was a sense of validation and accomplishment holding the first copies in

my hand. Now I feel like I’ve lost it and I don’t know how to get it back.

On the other hand, however, is giving up. Letting the publisher cancel my contract with

them and dispose of all remaining inventory written by myself. I’d be able to focus more

fully on de-stressing when I’m not at work. I know it’s the lazy way out. The internet’s

full of inspirational crap telling me not to give up, that success is just around the corner,

that I just need to keep working. So how long am I supposed to keep trying? I’ve got a

garden, two cats, a more than full-time career, a myriad of projects I’m trying to

complete. How far derailed can I get before the train just crashes and burns? Is it always a

bad thing to let a dream go?


My biggest concern with giving up is that I’ll be wasting so many opportunities. Sarah

Book Publishing took a chance on me, and if I just quit then I’m spitting in their face.

I’ve had the dream of being published in my hands and I couldn’t follow through. It’s just

plain weak.

But is it reality?

Any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated.


One thought on “Infodumping…

  1. I’m not going to tell you the answer to your question. I will tell you to pray. What does God want you to do? That simple question really helped me when I was in a similar spot.
    Please don’t define yourself by the negative things you are doing now… You can use this as a springboard to something better. You are a strong, creative, vibrant, intelligent, young man.

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